What are your goals for 2018? Do you pick a word of the year to live by? I have picked a word for years, but I don’t end up remembering to follow that word the whole year. HAHA.

I could have expanded on what I wanted to succeed at, but finding a job where I can make a little more income and not hurt so much when I leave work is at the top of my list. I am so bad at finding jobs though. I don’t have enough faith in myself. I have been terminated from 2 jobs in this town because they had a man to replace me with but gave me lame excuses in the process. I was a manager in both situations and in neither place had I ever been written up or given reason to think it was coming. In fact, I have never been given a bad evaluation in any job because I work hard and go over and beyond (except that one university job when I was pregnant). But those terminations left me reevaluating my 2 degrees and what a waste of time and money those times at college were. It’s tough being a single mom and not having a career path that included having a child with no other parent around. I had a student loan from the Master’s degree and just could not figure out how to change my career path without incurring more debt. Of course, I still have that student loan as well. This is supposed to be an upbeat post, and I have surely brought myself down. So onward and upward.

My word for 2018 might have you wondering how that can be a word to live by. Reconsider: think about again. Synonyms: amend, consider again, correct, polish, reevaluate, think over. I really need to learn to budget and stay on budget. I need to finish my house projects so that if I wanted to sell my house tomorrow and move away for the great job, I can. If I find a great job out of town I need to consider that is the option I need to take. The year will consist of many right, left choices and that is where RECONSIDER fits in.

I am the person that doesn’t shop at Dillard’s even. I go to Kohl’s, TJMaxx, and Marshall’s. Even back when I was a lower manager, I always shopped at outlet stores. I can’t fathom paying $35 for jeans, paying more would give me a heart attack. When I was a server, I would save my tips in envelopes labeled Mortgage, car insurance, ect. Groceries would come out of the hourly pay I got in checks. But no other money was spent until I had those envelopes full each month. That might have been the year that I started my life of a hermit. LOL. No, I look back and I had fun that year. It was the next year that I slowed down. Grew up. Had a baby. Finished the grad school semester with a 4.0 after having said baby.

I was a Flight Attendant for 2 years before I went to grad school. Living in Chicago. That was a life experience I will never give back. All the places I got to see. The people that I got to meet. I really wish I had written down my stories. Kept a journal or something. Oh, the book I could have written.

After I lost the restaurant manager job, I had interviewed for a particular position that I never would have applied for if it hadn’t been for an old family friend telling me to apply for it. It was the only job with a decent income that I had yet to be interviewed for. I was trying to stay away from the hospitality world. Her husband was doing the interview. He did not give me any special treatment. In fact it was his question that floored me. He said I had had a lot of jobs, they were looking for someone that stayed put for years kind of thing. How did I really have experience for the job? I think I was only interviewed because they needed to interview 3 people. My dad worked for the federal government, for the same branch, his entire career. What they don’t realize is that I wasn’t moving jobs because I wanted to. I moved jobs because I had to. But in each one I learned something new. And I never flip flopped from job to job like in #Girlboss. Maybe all interviewers should read that book first.

I think what we can learn from all these sexual harassment stories that are floating around out there, is that it still isn’t a better world for women to work. Women are still not on the same ladder rung as men. And yes, women can also be on that same ladder rung and be one of the worst human beings in the world (The Devil Wears Prada). Sam’s Club went through one of the biggest class action lawsuits started by an ex-associate in Santa Fe, NM, and still I see that men are revered more than women and the sexual harassment still hasn’t gone away (in the club where I work at least). And in our club, only 1 of the 5 managers is a woman and the only female team-leaders are over the cashiers. You might wonder why I still work there. 7 years already. 5 as the personal shopper person. But that interview I mentioned really got to me and I tried to put down roots. But I am 43 years old and go home hurting every day and don’t make enough money to even go to the doctor to have my feet checked. So it is time to move on. (I better remember not to share this post on Facebook, or co-workers will see all this. Eek.)

I need to RECONSIDER my possibilities. What I can do for the rest of my life? Where I can make money to start saving it again? To be able to take a real vacation. I haven’t left this state in years. I haven’t spent the night somewhere other than family’s since I took my son to Legoland when he was 4. In fact our trip to California, 10 years ago, would be the only vacation he and I have ever taken.

I need to RECONSIDER how I spend my time not at work. Less TV. More reading. Following 2 reading challenges helps with that. More time crafting and sharing those crafts. Spending less money, even on discounted supplies. In fact, I need to do a no spend month every month for awhile. I need to be better about sharing all that crafting and finished projects on the blog. Really look into turning my blog into a money maker. Which means I would have to blog more regularly.

I need to RECONSIDER how I am going to get my master shower finished. I think I am going to just have to figure out how to get as much of it done as I can. Forget getting any help (except with the ceiling part). And only hiring out a plumber who can do the drain and floor pan. My parents said they would pay for the work but we can’t find anyone that wants to even come give us an estimate. The one guy that did come out never even sent her numbers (he would have been too expensive anyway). I am amazed at all I have accomplished in this house, so I just need to have more faith in myself in what I can do alone. Maybe not installing backerboard alone. It might not end up very straight.