Mr B


I love my boy. I love him a lot. I feel really guilty though. I get so mad at him sometimes. Sometimes I have to remind myself he’s just a kid.



Little man is 11 now. Got braces last month because his teeth were so overcrowded in his mouth. He’s moody and temperamental. He’s argumentative and makes excuses for everything. He always talks when he shouldn’t and won’t talk when he should. He used to tell me he wanted brothers and sisters, then my niece and nephew moved here and he decided he liked his alone time. He is very sensitive and my dad hates that about boys, so he gets mad about it.

sky blue2

He says he just walking backwards, but I think he looks pretty mad there. I don’t understand him. He won’t talk to me. When he does, he doesn’t always tell me the truth and then when I get all worked up he will tell me the truth. My parents spoil him rotten one minute (like getting him an XBox for his birthday) and then get mad at him for everything the next minute. They want to be the cool grandparents but then also be the strict parents (which I hate both of, but I can’t say anything because then I get accused of being ungrateful). I take him on picture taking adventures, picnics at the zoo and other stuff that doesn’t include spending lots of money. My mom takes him to all the new movies and bought him snow boarding gear for an early Christmas present. I try to just be an understanding parent, but then he works my last nerve when I am the tiredest from work. And I worry that I am being like my mother and going to kill his self-esteem.

brendan goalie

He loves soccer but doesn’t want to give anything extra to it. Would be a really good player if he wouldn’t be so lazy about it. He complains about his chores. Won’t clean up after himself without being told and does much of his work only half caring. I feel that everything I tell him goes in one ear and out there other. That he figures nana or papa will give in to him eventually. They may get the maddest at him for his bad attitude and pouting but he chooses to spend most of his time with them and I have to make him spend a day with me.


I hope against everything that if you are reading this you don’t think I am complaining about him. I am just so confused. I know that things will change when we get moved into our own house, that we have lived in my parents’ house too long. But sometimes I don’t see that I have done a very good job. He is an only child. He doesn’t, nor ever will, know his father. No man has wanted to come into our life and be his dad. I don’t like that, but can’t change that either.

my fave

I want his life to be better than mine. Want him to not rely on other people, to be able to make his own place in the world. But with people by his side. I want him to have people in his life he can always depend on. To choose a good degree, that will actually get him jobs. I want him to be comfortable but also work for his place and money. I don’t want him to think he is entitled to anything, and want him to not judge others. I want him to see life as good and colorful and great. That anything is the limit when he puts in mind and heart to it.


I think maybe I messed up by giving up my life. I felt that if I couldn’t finish grad school and take care of him (and let my parents convince me he was better off staying with them) then I didn’t need to have fun or play or do anything other than school or work. I did have a little bit of a life after grad school, while I lived in Austin, but that ended when I moved here 8 1/2 years ago. I am an employee, a mother, a loner. And I think maybe I have not set a good picture to him. I can’t imagine what his teenage years are going to be like when he already treats me like I’m not cool enough now. Above everything I hope he always know I love him.

Yucky Days

Sometimes life gives you lemons. They say to make lemonade.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

Everything happens for a reason.

Life is like a roller coaster, it has it’s ups and down.

Don’t worry, be happy.


(I didn’t come up with the words, I just created the picture. If you’d like a copy, let me know.) When I don’t know the final outcome, I need to just remember these words. Another bump in the road with the house I am buying. I so wish there was a way to report HUD so they would stop doing these things to people that can’t buy new houses. All they have to do is change a knob on the hot water heater so that the meters can be set for the utilities. But no, as is they keep reminding us. I don’t want to be a wendy winer and say anything else about the matter though. Bah humbug. No worrying. =)


Who’s That Girl?

‘”Quien es esa nina, who’s that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who’s that girl
Quien es esa nina, who’s that girl
Senorita, mas fina, who’s that girl”

-Madonna’s Who’s That Girl


 She is a cutie.

Have you heard of the singing nun from The View (Italy)? Ironically she has redone Madonna’s Like a Virgin. She stated “If you read the lyrics without being influenced by what has gone before, you discover that it is a song about the capacity of love to make people new again, to release them from their past.” (As seen on Yahoo TV.)

Interesting thoughts.

Today I am sharing with Song-ography, 0df33-our2bworld P52 Sweet Shot Tuesday with Kent Weakley


Hay Around

Good.good time

Meezie really liked feeding the goats at the pumpkin patch. And petting the piglets.



bull hay

This woman paints all these hay bales every year. This year the animal ones were new. And so cute.

I thought this little girl was too cute to not snap her photo. I have been playing around with using this as my Little Princess prompt for my birthday challenge.

I am sharing here today: Monday Mellow Yellows and

Playful Mess

colorful girlsAlbuquerque, NM

Her mommy was not happy when she realized how many of these boxes of Nerds she had taken and eaten. She is a hyper girl as it is.

Meezie has fun with her. Keep each other entertained at the older brothers’ soccer games.

I am sharing here today:

Unknown MamiWeekly Top Shot #157

Inspiration and Tricks

I decided that I would go a different route today. And share with you other blogs where I have gotten inspiration, tips and tricks, or just plum like their photography. Some of these are how I started out taking more pictures or really started blogging. Whatever their calling to me was (or is), I wanted to share them all with you.

Rita shares A LOT of great stuff. Actions, templates, tips. I edited many pictures in the beginning with her actions. I also love her templates (and frames). For this example I used Rita’s Picture Portrait 3 action with a few changes. Actions are really easy to load into PE11 and above, and Rita even walks you through how to load them.rita editNot sure why little man looks so angry there.

Lately, I have been using these tips from Lisa to edit all my photos in Photoshop Elements. When I want my photos to stay as close to SOOC, these are easy tricks and really make my photos pop. For this example, I used this tutorial.lisa editHave you ever seen a piglet with such cool looking colors?

Over the years, my tastes have changed. I went through a stage of using texture as well as using only actions to edit my photos. Below are some of the blogs that I have followed for years or got great tips from before. Just click on the picture for the link. (I also just really like some of their shared photos.)


liveramblings Photo Challenge Submissionkat

64 Shades of Color: Sky Blue

I am a date late. I chose family fun over the regularly scheduled program =) sky blue

Went to the local pumpkin patch. Smallish, but the kids still like it. My niece loved the piglets. And feeding the goats.

sky blue3

My little man looks really angry here, but he says he was just walking backwards. I don’t know about that one.

sky blue2

I was soooo tired after getting home, and eating so late, that I just went straight to bed.

Link up your favorite sky blue capture by Thursday.

I am sharing here today: 1440 and Kim Klassen dot com PhotoStory Friday



Dancing Skeleton

skeleton stake

The moon is on the graveyard,
The night is cool and still,
The wind blows gently,
Yes it blows where it will,
And the slightest sound,
From a place that’s unknown,
Come do the skeleton dance,
And rattle my bones.

~part of “The Skeleton Dance” by Blaine McCanless

I’ll be sharing here today:

Little by Little


Bird Watching

I feel much better since yesterday. I am back to trying not to worry about anything. I really hope that whatever my realtor worked out isn’t going to cost me more than I had already figured out. And I have to say that because we haven’t had the inspection yet, I can’t walk away due to having Ernest money in the house. Soo….

First things first, I changed my blog theme for the first time in forever. So my font got bigger again. I have asked and asked what people think of my blog looks but I don’t think my posts actually get read (until yesterdays, thanks).

I stepped outside the upstairs balcony today and did a little bird watching. Again, I realize my lens isn’t big enough. Someday.

bird watching3

This is the house directly next door to my parents’. This gives you an example of what flat roof houses look like if you don’t have any of those. That house I am buying is flat roofed except for a pitch down the middle of the house from front to back (tiled), that is where the leak is. This roof here has been redone lately…no cracks or seals.

bird watching

A lot of stucco houses too. I think these are more a synthetic stucco…it lasts longer. Isn’t as rough as the real mud kind.

bird watching2

This one was my favorite. Not that I like pigeons, but I like how the sun setting is starting to reflect in the clouds and leave the bird and area more a silhouette.

I am linking up here today: Communal Global and Outdoor Wednesday

Frustration Seeps In

I am going totally off topic today. I have to vent my frustration somewhere. I feel I might fall over from the irritation I have right now. So I am in the process of buying a house. Mind you, this is the second house I have made an offer on in the last 5 months. This house is owned by HUD. Our government really gets me sometimes. Who is really being helped out here? The HUD requirements are that we close within 45 days of their approval of my bid. Somehow that translated to November 5 (which was more than 60 days but because of a re-bid or something it is longer). We still haven’t an inspection because HUD had to send my realtor a letter stating I could get the utilities turned on. Finally got that letter yesterday. Supposed to have utilities turned on on Wednesday and off on Friday (supposed to have 72 hours but lost Monday from holiday). Start calling utilities today and gas company needs an inspection before they can put the meter back on. (Most sellers do all this but since it is HUD, they do nothing!). First plumber said they can’t schedule appointment with me, only the owner. Second plumber said they have to inspect and permit…$375!!! Ouch. I want to cry. That is one room’s carpet. The electric company requires an electrician inspect and give a clean bill of health for that new meter. I haven’t called them yet. On top of all that, we know that there is a roof leak, so there is roof repair to be done. But every dime I have to spend on these hoops I have to go through because HUD doesn’t do anything is ridiculous and takes away from the things I need to do to move in…carpet in three bedrooms. Oh, and not only that, I learned from the last mortgage guy (I had to let him go) that for every day we don’t close on time, HUD charges me a fee.

It seemed like a really good deal, this house. Even though they made me go $5000 higher than we really wanted to. Said they had to make so much money. I didn’t know at that time that HUD had such stupid standards. It’s times like this that I wish I had just stayed in my house. Why did it have to be so far away from my parents? So that my son couldn’t stay home alone there. It was clean. It was newer. It was already mine so I didn’t have to worry about all this CRAP. (Sorry.) I will be happy when I am finally in this house and have projects to work on, but at this point I am not going to have any money to work on these projects. I am going to need to sell my liver and kidney. It’s times like this that I HATE being so single. And wish there was a white knight to rescue me. I don’t like doing this whole adult business alone. Or having to make these decisions to keep my son closer to my parents. And don’t get my started on why I can’t figure out how to make more money with my two degrees, other than working in hotels or restaurants and having to work ungodly hours and shifts and holidays. I want a life with my son right now. Not all that other stuff that would go along with making the money I was before.

balloons in clouds

And then, after I made 2 more calls to plumbers and found the best price, my realtor steps through. Good thing he’s my brother’s friend. He stayed on hold with someone for 20 minutes and gets it all taken care of. Not sure how he got it so that I don’t have to pay for these inspections to have the meters set (or maybe I still do?). Or how he got them to be there on Monday at the same time. I can breath a little easier now. (And yes, my mom has to throw in with never buy a HUD house again, like she knew these things would happen. Like it wasn’t her idea that I sell the other house.) But the clouds cleared a little, just as they did for the two balloons in my photo.

Today I am sharing here:

0df33-our2bworldP52 Sweet Shot Tuesday with Kent Weakley