My normal readers may want to skip this post. Just saying. Nothing to do with DIY or photography. Just need to vent. And I wasn’t about to do this on Facebook because it’s too real.
To Adrian Sanchez, Poncho Gonzales, Jason Weill, Jesse Solomon, Jimmy Mascari, Steven Sanchez, Jason Morales, Mike Plante, Felix Tafoya and Manuel Herrera; a few of you I loved. One of you, my first love, I was too afraid to let you know how much I loved you. That you would run. Ironically, not telling you may be why you never stayed.
Some of you I didn’t really know. Some of you used me. A lot of you led me to believe we were having a relationship or at least flirting into the direction. One of you gave me my son because of your pure selfishness.
A few of us never left friendship, but not because I didn’t want to or think we weren’t going there. Most of you never even got to know my finer qualities. I would have been a great woman to have had in your life. Yes I may be a little quirky but that’s probably what got your attention initially.
All of you broke my heart in some way.
I am not a girly girl that gets fancied up. But will get dolled up in a heartbeat for the right occasion or the right man. I work hard. I get my hands dirty. I am fiercely protective of anyone that gives back to me. I love deeply. I can take care of myself but would love someone to share life with. To laugh with. To cry with. To just hug on a bad day.
But shame on me for letting those of you that did, hurt me. Or let you believe it was okay to lie to me. Or let you believe I was buying the bullshit. 2 of you really got my lot of giving, for years each. My stupidity was seeing the good and thinking it was enough to forget all the crap. Shame on me for not just walking away. Shame on me for giving too much of myself.
Maybe I should write a column about this. What not to believe. I don’t think I am naive. Just stupid and not letting go when I should. Giving too much of myself to a man that clearly doesn’t “see” me.
There is absolutely no excuse for men to not text back. No one is ever too busy, especially when you see them on the phone all the time. Don’t ever believe that excuse. If after a few weeks of the one way conversations, or you are the one always starting the conversations, say goodbye and walk away. They will never change.
Telling you they aren’t ready for a relationship or to date, means they only want the sex and don’t want to date you. When they say they haven’t been with anyone in so long, usually they are in another non serious situation. I only wish I didn’t have to keep hearing these excuses from every man that hits on me first. What’s the point?
I’m 42 years old. And just wondering where I can find a man that doesn’t give me all this bullshit. Or just gives for that matter. All of these lovelies were in New Mexico. Maybe I need to move to another state.
lilisview.com 
You are so right on this. I wish I’d learned it by the time I was 42. Trust yourself.
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